Tuesday, February 17, 2015


Where is this being that I have relied on to save my damaged soul? I wait ever so patiently for its warm glow of love, but it is nowhere to be felt. My heart melts in its absence, it yearns for its caring nature. Without it, I fight my inner torment to keep me sane, to keep me from falling off the cliff of despair. My insides feel as if they are closing in around the emptiness. The gloom of my existence begin to weigh heavily on my soul. I try to comprehend what it is about the being that I depend on. Is it the love that it spreads over me, or is it something else?

I still wait. I no longer desire to slip into oblivion; to vanish from existence, but the pain of expecting its return is torturous. I need to have it near me, for this presence makes me complete. I want to cage it, make it my own, so I may shower it with love. It should be no one else’s but mine. I am going to be greedy, for nobody would be able to treat this entity the way a true angel should be treated. It is not fully mine as I wish it to be, for this light of magnificence shines on others.  I would wrap up the wonders of the universe and give it to this being if I could; even though that would still not be enough to satisfy what it rightly deserves. The undeniable beauty inside and out is enough to bring out the best in me. Without it… I am lost.
I wonder if I have done something wrong for it to be absent this evening. I close my eyes tighter, expecting to see the glimmering light it radiates. Just when my hope is ready to give, I see it, slicing through the darkness in a spectrum of vibrant colors. I feel that I cannot justify being with something as wonderful, so delightful, as tender as this angel. The closer this piece of heaven comes, the more my soul is calmed. I want to ask why it has been away, why it has ignored me, but I hold back, for its splendor is captivating. The tears that swelled up from my yearning, has changed to tears of adoration.

I try to hold this entity… it is so close, but yet so far away. My touch it cannot feel, but I can feel the touch of this divine being inside me. It doesn’t come close, but I feel relaxed. All I want to do is bask in its beauty, to absorb all that it is. The being drifts away, its arms stretched out.

“Don’t go,” I plead.

“I must,” it answers me back.

“I need you.”

“I know you do. Remember I’m here with you, always.”

It fades into the darkness, once again leaving me. My love for it is unmatched, it always will be. I feel alone, not fully complete. I think to myself, all I need is one thing… to be wrapped up in a blanket of affection, and to hear a voice tell me that everything will be alright. I miss this being already, but I know it will be back. I will wait like I always do. I will wait until the end of time to be close to it again.  

Image: www.wallpaperklix.in/

1 comment:

  1. There are no words. This is so beautiful and I hope it comes back to you.